Amarah Sang Wanita

Sebenarnya, aku rasa aku bukan seorang lelaki yang paham pasal perempuan. Sampai sekarang aku tak paham entah apa yang sedapnya pasal shopping pada perempuan ni. Itu satu contoh lah.

Lagi, kalau perempuan ni menangis, aku selalu rasa macam, alah, rileks la. Aku mungkin akan cuba buat dia cheer up ke apa. Tapi, still, aku tak paham.

Bukan kecil kecil anak sebenarnya perkara memahami perempuan ni. Benda paling senang adalah tak payah paham langsung. Dia nak marah ke nak menangis ke lantak dia lah.

Cuma, kadang kadang aku terfikir. Nanti bila dah kahwin, takkan nak biar pulak isteri aku menangis sorang sorang ye dak? Sebagai mithali, aku kenalah teman. Ya, bunyinya sangat mendebarkan, tapi, this is a part of my life that I'm ready to explore into and see what it feels like.

Ok, seram gila bunyi.

Cuma, ya, sebagai lelaki juga, kadang kadang aku rasa macam tak dapat kawal kalau kalau rasa serabut ke, marah ke. Bukan senang nak act cool all the time. And sometimes, I also tend to lose momentum. I don't know what to react for a certain event.

Ok. Ada kelas tak pasal memahami perempuan?

Belum masuk part memahami mak mertua. Fuh. Mintak mintak lah aku harungi bahagian bahagian macam ni dengan lancar dan jayanya.

*Yes, bagus juga ada blog yang orang tak baca. Sedap luah perasaan. Hahaha.

Peranan Makwe Dalam Industri Ini

Makwe saya, adalah orang yang paling tak baca blog saya. Dia cakap, dia tak paham sepatah pun apa yang saya tulis.

Hm, sebenarnya, ada point juga dia cakap. Aku tulis, selalu tak straight to the point. Memang aku orangnya macam tu. Kalau aku telefon bapak aku, mintak duit, ayatnya akan berbunyi,

"Hello, bah. Hm, apa khabar. Haritu, motor rosak, langgar lembu. Lepastu, lembu tu mintak ganti rugi. Hm, macam mana eh?"

Yes. Tidak ada tajuk permintaan duit pun dalam situ.

Begitu juga dalam penulisan blog. Tajuk entry akan, tak akan menggambarkan langsung apa yang aku nak cakap, tak beautifulnara langsung.

So, macam mana ni?

Makwe, apa cadangan awak makwe?

Update Entry Bukanlah Semudah Up Status

Yes. Blog ini tiada orang baca. Jadi, aku macam bercakap dengan diri sendiri. Apa bodoh cakap dengan diri sendiri tulis dalam blog ye dak?

Well, it just that, when someone ask you to go die, should we go die? Or pretend to be dead?

Kalau tengok dalam mana mana movie sekalipun, watak orang mati, mesti dada dia turun naik. Maknanya, susah nak berlakon mati ni sebenarnya.

Hold right there my chest, don't move!

Ah, dammit I move it again. Damn!

Sebenarnya, payah nak bercakap dengan diri sendiri ni. Ah damn!

This Is Another Side Of Me

And this blog, tells the kind of different face of mine. Oh, I'm not a two-faced, and I pray not to be one.

It just tells another perspective of my life.

And one of my other life is this wonderful girl.

She's the one with me, through my pain and vain, my smile and cry, my in and out. My bestfriend, my best enemy, my loyal critic and everything and things.

However, I still cannot be the most perfect guy for her. Well, I don't wish to, because nobody is perfect. Thus, if I'm a perfect, then I'm just nobody. Hehe.

Ok. Words can be created, but heart is something you see through the eyes, and feel things that words cannot describe.

Hai gila. Thankyou for being a part of my life. Biggest part of mine. I just hope to be one for you too, and remain there, until one of us close the eye to leave this world. And I hope you're the first, because I don't want you to be alone when I die first. :)

A Whole New Level Of Signing Youngsters!

Football clubs nowadays berlumba lumba to sign youngsters for their club, as early as at the age of 9, 8, 7 years old. Well, guess what. A whole new level is being set up now! 18-months! Yes, your eyes doesn't lie. Satu tahun 6 bulan! Haha. Gila. Watch this toddler kicking a ball, while budak budak Malaysia baru nak start berjalan. Or makan aiskrim lagi.

Jika Harry Houdini Itu Sebuah Muzik

Now Finally, The Fastest Goal I'd Always Dream Of

3 SECONDS! Watch this.

Stail Stail

Players win the game for the manager. Well, apparently not. This manager try to win it by himslef in a stunning way. Haha. Watch how this manager score goal, from the bench!

Siapa Minat Shaolin Soccer Angkat Tangan?

Ya, Shaolin Soccer. Permainan bola yang dibuat oleh Stephen Rahman Hughes, eh, Stephen Chow. Mind-blowing bukan? Menggabungkan kung fu dan bola sepak? Naa aa aa! The dream is about to become a reality after a martial art school in China takes this inisiative (binatang, macam mana nak eja inisiatif ni?) and try to combine martial art with football.

TADAAA!!!

Ok, memandangkan sekarang dah pukul awal pagi, dan aku sangat mengantuk, jadi apa kata engkau orang layan report asal di link bawah ini. Thank you Stephen Chow!

Laporan asal Daily Mail

Mario Bodo-Tuli

When you thought you've seen everything from this spoil-brat, you're wrong. Allergic to grass, want big money, assume he's the best player in the world. Shit. Enjoy this video to see whether is he a real footballer or not. Real footballer know how to wear bib you stupid kid!

Mari Kita Ber-Kahkahkah Dekat Abang Berbatove

Ok, sebenarnya bukan saya yang start nak ber-kahkahkah ni. Ini semua ide Pak Cik Alex. Dia ketawa sebab Berbatove tak start game. Ha? Tak percaya? Ok, jom tengok video bawah.

Ha, kahkahkah kan? Kesian pula aku tengok Berba ni. Scoring 20-goals this season, yet still sitting on the bench. Bersabarlah Berbatove.

Ok, now for a real laugh video. He's surely had the last laugh after scoring such a wonderful goal.

The Twin Tormentor

Last night's game gives me somewhat a relieving moment. Although United still not at their best, but this is the best performance they showed for these past miserable weeks. Even more convincing than the game against 4-0 win Wigan. There is more promising in the squad or display I guess. And the idea of using the twin-tormentor, well, it works really great. And really causing trouble to Arsenal. Ye lah. Kau gila? Tengok ada dua orang yang sama berlari lari atas padang. Hahaha. Kalau first try Rafael tu masuk, dah klasik gila. That would be a twins-goal. Sorang cross, sorang tanduk. Klasik. Vintage.

And terima kasih daun keladi kalau boleh season depan main lagi kepada Edwin van Der Sar. Gila. Yang ini sorang lagi vintage. Umur dah menua, lagi lah dia buat perangai terer dia tu. Terbang sana sini save. Lawan Chelsea itu hari adalah save dia paling pelik. Main berguling guling baring atas padang pun boleh save dua tiga kali. Edwin Edwin, with you it means win. And the twin. Haha.

Apa pun, mari kita kenalkan twin twin nya.

Rafael Da Silva.

Fabio Da Silva

Ah, persetankan usaha membezakan mereka. Sedangkan Sir Alex Ferguson hari hari jumpa pun tak boleh nak bezakan, inikan pula Google Image. Hahaha. Kalau Zaquan Adha Aidil Zafuan bolehlah jugak nak bezakan pakai bini, ye dak?

Apa pun, terima kasih juga kepada Arsene Wenger kerana tidak beria sign mereka berdua ni dahulu. Haha. Kalau tak, mesti kelam kabut dah Man United dibuatnya.

Imaginary Friends and Referee

Well, recently, Majid always causes problems. There was one day in my class, where one note belongs to a friend of mine, and another sheet of paper went missing suddenly. Kami cari seluruh kelas, dalam beg tak jumpa. Then, kami ignore. At the end of the class session, there lies these two sheet of papers. I'm pretty sure Majid yang buat kerja ni.

Oh, Majid is my imaginary friend.

Tapi, problems caused by Majid isn't as serious as these problem caused by Peter Walton, referee yang mengadili game between Everton and Birmingham yesterday.

What did he do?

Well, he 'funnily' showed an imaginary 'yellow card' to one player. Macam Majid. Maybe, Majid yang main dengan kad beliau. Maybe la.

Snood Dog? Take Note City And Arsenal!

So, it was announced yesterday that...snood is BANNED from football! Kahkahkah.

Sampai ada perbincangan tahap FIFA rupanya pemakaian benda alah ni. Bagus juga FIFA ni. Aku rasa, matlamatnya adalah untuk menghalang benda alah ni daripada menjadi sub-culture, seterusnya menyebabkan kejutan kultur (culture shock) kepada anak Melayu yang selalunya terikut ikut trend Mat Salleh. Ya, watdefak apa nak pakai snood di tengah tengah kepanasan bumi Allah Malaysia ni, khususnya di Melaka Bandaraya Bersejarah. Sangat panas.

Lagi laporan boleh diintai disini. Intai jangan tak intai! Hahaha.

Siti Tevez mengucapkan salam perpisahan dengan Snood Dog. Sensual Seduction, oo ah ah.

The secret diary of Fernando Torres

Dear diary

I am still struggling to adjust. I keep telling myself that the move was the right thing but doubts creep in.

I don’t feel one of the boys here. At Liverpool I’d go into training, see Dirk’s face, and immediately feel better about myself. I miss this.

Today at training I made another faux pas. We were getting changed and JT dropped his armband, I picked it up and handed it back to him. Everyone went quiet. I had to go and stand on the naughty step for 10 minutes. Nnobody is allowed to touch his armband unless he hands it to them. I don’t even know why he needed to wear it, we were only going swimming.

That’s the second time I’ve been on the naughty step this week. We were playing five-a-side and Frank took a shot, it hit me then two defenders, crashed against the post and went in off the goalkeeper's back. I queried why Frank was celebrating so much as it was clearly an own goal. I had to stand on the step for 20 minutes that time.

After swimming JT tried to make small talk to build bridges. He asked me how my new house is and I told him it was great, but the drive was very narrow and I struggled to get my Range Rover through. He said he knew what I meant as it took him ages too. I don’t understand as I haven’t invited him around yet, perhaps it’s some Cockney nonsense. I nodded.

We then all had something to eat. I finished first and went to leave the table, everyone looked astonished. I was told I had to ask first, so I asked. JT, Frank, Didier and Ashley then had a five-minute debate about it and gave me permission.

The tactics talk for the Manchester United game was interesting. All about pressing and watching their key players, which areas to exploit, who is getting picked and how we’ll be set up. Mr Abramovich is a very accomplished speaker.

Ashley brought a gun in last week, this big rifle thing. I was bemused as to why but JT explained to me it was part of his new training ground tours. Apparently the ‘punters’ had been concerned they weren’t getting value for their ten grand a go and so Ashley and JT are setting up a clay pigeon range so the corporates can do some team building after he’s showed them around the facilities. He told me it’s all part of being a captain and then touched his armband and growled.

It’s certainly very different here.

Fernando

*Entry ini di-copy paste sebijik dari sini. Terima kasih kepada Annie Eaves kerana memberi something yang sangat hilarious ini. Kahkahkah

Ceritanya Di Brazil Sana

Seperti yang kita tahu, in term of football, Brazil melahirkan ramai penghibur, entertainer. Ronaldinho, Robinho, Ho Ho segala macam. And it's not all. Selain footballer, Brazil juga melahirkan penghibur, in term of, medic man! Yes, you heard me. Jurumedik juga memberi hiburan di atas padang. Tak percaya? Mari kita lihat.

Ha, tengok. Tu dia ha. Lipat sana sini, sambil buat muka garang dan serius. Sangat cool! Gahaha

When People Are Desperate, They Tend To Do Anything.

And by anything, I mean ANYTHING.

For example, in a football game, to get a free-kick, one might hit himself with opponent's hand. Weird? Wait a minute. This is not an example. In fact, there is a video about it. Kahkahkah. Sangat LOL.

Watch.




Stupid, or smart?

Well, this one is definitely a smart one.



Got any idea what it is? It is a plan of a house. At the left side, you stair up the the higher floor, well, using a stair. And to go down? Just slide it down. Cool. Here is the link for more explanation.

FC St Pauli The Punk Club

Ya, FC St Pauli dikenali sebagai sebuah kelab yang punk. Punk memang punk!

Untuk perlawanan menentang Hannover 96, disebabkan ketiadaan defender yang fit, manager St Pauli yang punk telah memanggil seorang press officer kelab untuk ke training dalam masa sejam. Dan akan bersama skuad untuk menentang Hannover 96 nanti! Pergh, punk tak punk?

Lagi maklumat lanjut di sini.

Fun Fun Video For This Week

Kahkahkah. Extremely hillarious.

A spanish, talking to his mates, the Argentine and the Dutch.

Parties involved : Valdes, Mascherano, Affelay, Iniesta, Pique. Di bawah ada disediakan subtitle.

Valdes: When you are close to me, you you, you pass the ball to me
Valdes to Mascherano: Tell him to pass me the ball when he's close to me and not to mess up...you know where I am.
Mascherano: When you get the ball from them and get close to the area you pass the ball to him.
Valdes to Iniesta: Man, I have an English that really scares me. I don't know, since I'm eating in McDonald's, I'm learning to speak English very well.
Pique: Valdes, Valdes, Shakira has a sister that wants to meet you.

And then, The Special One. A true leader, a trophy winner, the 9-years-no-lose-at-home man. And now, the children entertainer. Introducing, Mourinho!

Super Mario

Sekarang sedang berlangsung perlawanan di antara Manchester Siti menentang Notts County.

Saya dengan ini ingin mempersembahkan Siti Siti Manchester pada malam ini.

Pertama, Siti Balotelli! (Tepuk tepuk)




Diikuti dengan Siti kedua, Siti Richards! (Tepuk lagi)



Jangan lupa untuk menonton bual bicara Siti di Astro. Semoga Siti Nurhaliza membayar saya untuk promosi ini.

Manchester United vs New York Stinson

Overall, aku salute 110% kepada Crawley Town kerana tidak takut untuk bermain bolasepak di Old Trafford. Kalau Man City, dah sah sah park a bus in front of goal. In fact, aku rasa Man United is the second best dalam game tadi. Kalau Crawley's players improve finishing touch 10% more, then I'm sure diorang boleh ayam Man United 3-1 tadi. End.

Next, mari kita beralih kepada tajuk di atas.

Goalkeeper Man United baru, Anders Lindegaard. Dari Aasalund ke ape tah nama team dia sebelum ni. Performance so far, belum ada bola berbahaya sampai kepadanya. Jadi setakat ni, rate masih ok.


Lindegaard di McLaren's bar semalam. Kahkahkah.

Fun Fact About Wembley, And SPURS!

In 1961, it was the FA Cup.

In 1971, it was the League Cup.

Another League Cup again in 1981,

And 91', saw another FA Cup triumph.

In 2001, well, Wembley was out of service then.

What about 2011?

Yes, Tottenham Hotspur won every 10 year since 1961 at Wembley, and since this year's Champions League final will be at Wembley, then...

Presenting To You...

The new line-up for Man City! Yes, you can get Torres, Ribery, Rooney, bla bla bla, Messi, and even Where's Whally!




Untuk pautan lanjut, sila ke Daily Mirror di sini. Ada disertakan sekali Who's Who. Kahkahkah.

Barcelona, Barcelona, Barcelona.

First half.

Tap, tap, tap, try. Tap, tap, tap, shoot. Tap, tap, tap, sampai 100 200 kali, budak budak Arsenal masih tak dapat sentuh bola. Overall, untuk first half, aku rasa Wilshere saja pemain Arsenal yang nampak sinaran matamu bak kejora nya. Lain? Perrgh, hampeh. Barcelona seperti biasa meletakkan typical performance. Bola atas tanah je. Kadang kala je terbang. Main passing passing atas tanah memang basic, main mudah, dan cantik.

"With this kind of performance, Wilshere can easily establish himself into Barcelona's first team. Fabregas who?" kata Gory kepada Andy Gray.

Second half.

Akibat keangkuhan Guardiola yang terlalu yakin menang, dengan mengeluarkan Villa untuk digantikan dengan Seydou Keita, menyebabkan dewa dewa Barcelona menjadi marah. Lalu mereka menghukum Barcelona dengan men-spoilkan gerak geri Barca. Hah, amik kau semua benda tak menjadi. But still, kredit kepada Wenger. Super-subs. One goal, and one assist from them. Still, the young Jack Wilshere menjadi tarikan pada aku. Relax je umur 19 challenge Xavi Iniesta Messi. Aku nak challenge dalam PES pun berdebar debar berpeluh. Fuh!

Meanwhile, Liverpool are doing quite well in Europe this season. Oh, no. The OTHER Europe. The lower one. Yes, that's right. Kahkahkah. Sorry budak budak Liverpool. At least, there's still a silver lining for you. Raheem Sterling is touted to make his debut. Well, quite a talent in this kid. Search on Youtube for his 5-goals thriller baru baru ini. Tapi kasi asah biar betul. Jangan jadi macam David Ngok tu.

Fastest Red Card Ever?

10 seconds!

Seriously, I didn't blame the goalkeeper because it was his defender's fault!

Still, he created a history of his own, macam dia cakap dalam BBC Radio interview.

Jom kita layan! Zass!

Tapi still, according to FIFA, the fastest one ever recorded is 3 seconds. Unfortunately, aku tak jumpa videonya. But still, 10 seconds is pretty fast man.

Now, This Is An Art

Below this is a Chinese man devoted himself to an art and mother nature. Ya, mother nature, bukan motherfucker. Kahkahkah.

But seriously, MUST SEE THIS!

See him see him?

Now, for another tricky one. Serious aku amik dekat seminit dua cari.

Hint. Tengok kanan sekali.

Malas aku nak update semua. Sila klik sini. Kira macam kredit la. Haha

Suarez Suarez!

Nyaris dah tak gol tu. Hehe.

Ok, cerita hari ini pasal Nigel De Killer Jong sama Gary Neville.

Gary Neville hari ini mengumumkan persaraan selepas 20 tahun berkhidmat untuk Manchester United. Well, although this last couple of season dia dah tak power sangat, yet when someone quit, we should tribute him. Thank you thank you.

Orgasm.

Nigel De Jong pula. Aku memang tak suka dia. Main tak adalah power sangat. Kerja nak kekah kaki orang je. Terajang dada Alonso masa World Cup Final, patahkan kaki Hatem Ben Arfa. Dan terbaru malam tadi. Knocked out his team-mate Micah Richard. Minat tengok WWF aku rasa dia ni.

Hambik kau!

Oh dan ya. Aku memang saja letak tajuk lain cerita pasal orang lain. Haha

Funny Goalkeeper! Funny, Bukan House Of Bunny!

Kahkahkahkahkahkahkah!

Seriusly funny LOL. Mungkin goalkeeper ni mabuk. Banyak minum sebelum main.

Kami tahu awak tu cik goalkeeper boleh bawak bola pakai tangan. Tapi jangan lah sampai ke gol pihak lawan.

Manchester United's New Full Back

Ya, anda tidak akan jumpa dalam mana mana transfer news lain akan perpindahan ini, melainkan di sini!

Meet the new Man United's full back.

John Retter!

Clap clap clap!!!

John Retter, 51-years-old truck driver spent nearly £1,000 to have the tattoo.

Laporan asal boleh tengok dekat bawah sini. Aku malas menulis panjang panjang.

The Sun

Fernando Torres Pujaan Hatiku

Antara bait bait senikata yang dinyanyikan oleh Sian Massey, lineswoman untuk game di antara Wolves menentang Liverpool tadi.

Sedangkan lidah lagikan tergigit, inikan pula men-deny gol abang Torres ye dak? Manakan mungkin adinda Sian Massey berlaku sedemikian. Bias bias.

"Kalau abang Rooney score, memang saya dah bagi offside. Abang Torres tak apa. Hensem. Bale bale..." -Sian Massey.

Ah, saya taknak ulas game mana mana. Man United ke, Liverpool ke, Australia Iraq ke.Saya cuma nak tanya apa Chris Rock buat ni? Ha ha? Bukan dia sepatutnya membuat lawak je ke?

Ini Chris Rock kan? Bukan? Kau nak main main dengan aku? Jom kita tengok sekali lagi dekat bawah.


Ha, Chris Rock kan? Dah tu, apa dia buat dalam baju West ham tadi? Ha ha?

The Re-Beginning

Kewujudan blog ini kembali kepada sebelumnya zaman Justin Bieber dikenali ramai, atau dengan kata lain, zaman zaman saya tengah single lagi. Kemudian, saya rasa seperti ianya perlu diberi peluang kedua untuk menjengah dunia, di samping meringankan beban Semi-Diari.

Jadi.

Tadaa!!!!

Memperkenalkan The Other Half. Dengan bun yang dikukus istimewa dalam pengukus kami, mengapit daging lembut yang cair dalam mulut seiring dengan hirisan hirisan tomato, bawang, mayonis dan sehiris rakun untuk membangkitkan selera. It's like having sex in your mouth!

Segala cerita cerita cinta, pengalaman hidup dan basikal tidak akan anda jumpa dalam blog ini. Sebaliknya, blog ini hanya akan menekankan benda benda general, macam video video PTB (Pelik Tapi Benar), cerita bolasepak satu dua dan mungkin jalan jalan cari makan. Luna Maya Luna Maya cari tempat lain.

Sebagai permulaan, mari kita menjengah video PTB (Pelik Tapi Benar) kita untuk hari ini.

Perlawanan Maria Sharapova tertunda kerana? Ya, saksikan video ini untuk cerita sebenar.

Ok, aku letak description kenapa bola itu tak melantun balik. Pasal Anis cakap dia takut. Mungkin dia percaya benda benda khurafat kot. Kahkahkah.

Sebenarnya, sebelum perlawanan, bomoh Indon dah pakau tempat tu supaya bola tak melantun.

Ok, tipu. Sebenarnya, cuaca panas melampau menyebabkan ada gumpalan udara dan air terkumpul di bawah court menyebabkan ia lembap gitu kot. Pergi baca dekat Yahoo News. Aku dah tak ingat link dia pergi mana. Anyway, selamat berhujung minggu!